It's An Art

I have recently come to the conclusion that I am losing touch with 

my arsty-fartsy side.

This is a travesty.

No, actually I've just been super lazy for about four years.

~

When I was a teenager, my aunt and I used to make fun of my sister because she really enjoyed arts and crafts.  I honestly don't even recall what exactly it was that she did.  I remember some latch hook projects...but other than that, no clue.

We would call her "crafto."

I realize how ludicrous this is now, because I was actually the one who was all crafty and ridiculous.

In middle school...macrame was my passion.

I made so many damn plant holders and wall hangings, I didn't know what to do with them all.

I eventually graduated to fancy patterns, and recall a lovely light blue circular thing with a ceramic teddy bear in the middle.

And my most prized piece: a lovely red fish.

(I am a pisces.  Fish are my thing.)

I rocked the macramé.  I was a true child of the 70's.

I also painted and cross-stitched, and tried my hand at sewing.

In fact, one summer, I decided to skip the family vacation to the lake, and instead, spend the week at my aunt Betty's learning how to make dolls and doll clothes.

My goal was to make "cabbage patch-esque" dolls.

I had the iron on eyes, and had to hand stitch the fingers and toes, belly buttons, as well as the nose and mouth.

Needless to say, all of my dolls looked like they were those unfortunate children featured in ads that asked for your donations so they could be brought to the United States for some life altering plastic surgery.

Sewing the clothing didn't go much better.  I would inevitably end up with one sleeve sewn on inside out, or the seams wouldn't line up.

It was a miracle I didn't sew my finger into any of my attempts at doll fashion.

~

I walked away from the world of arts and crafts for many years.

(I, rather, just made fun of my sister for doing it instead.)

The magic of homeownership was what brought me back to my "creative roots."

Actually...it really forced me back, since we were always too broke to actually purchase nice things, or to hire anyone to do the work for us...so if I wanted anything to look pretty, it was up to me to make it happen.

~

I could spend the entire day writing about my trials and errors with all of my projects in our many homes. (Luckily...most were successes.)

It was unfortunate that we lived through the eras that included some rather hideous trends...like stenciling. (I stenciled our second house like there was no tomorrow.  It was ridiculous.) And wallpaper.  (I am all for some statement wallpaper here and there...but that second house got some serious wallpaper, along with the stenciling.  We are talking apples in the kitchen, and a huge overabundance of fish in one of the bedrooms.  Completely obnoxious.)

Those were the days when more was more.

I cringe at the memories.

~

Luckily, I have now acquired some abilities that are actually somewhat beneficial.

Since I hadn't retained any of those sewing skills I attempted to acquire back in 5th grade, my daughter and I took some classes, and learned the basics.  

I just wanted to be able to make my own pillows and curtains.

That was one of the best things I've ever done.

I still don't really know what I'm doing, but I fake it quite well.

And, ever since my sweet friend Lori stopped over the other day with her handmade goodies, I have been inspired to sew again.

~

Here are a couple of projects I have been working on.

Sewing machine cover. (It looks wonky in the pic...but it is actually nicely shaped.) My first time following written directions.  (I usually just make stuff up as I go along.)

The start of a quilt that I began yesterday.

Shamrock pillow front

And back....b-day gift for a very Irish friend. ;)

We will not even talk about that stupid button on the front.

I had to sew it on THREE times to get it in the PERFECT spot.

And I HATE sewing buttons.

I am not sure what my problem was, but my "lining up" skills were on the fritz today, and that button took almost as long as that darn shamrock!

~

Another wonderful thing about spending the day in the sewing room is that I can't see the disaster that the rest of my house is from there.

I am tempted to just move down there permanently.

There is a mini fridge just down the hall from that room, and a microwave, so there really is no reason why I couldn't live down there.

I may have to spend today plotting my relocation.

Holding on to Hope

If there has been one thing that has changed (quite drastically) in my life over the past year, it would be my heightened awareness and despair over the unbelievable amount of animal abuse and inhumane treatment that occurs in our country and around the world.

(Sorry....I just saw another post about the horrendous dog trade in Asia...which ignites such rage and agony in me, I can hardly function after even seeing so much as a picture of those poor babies being piled on top of each other in the cages they shove them into.)

In other words....I am sitting here in tears....wondering why there is such cruelty in the world.

~

Let me preface this by saying that I certainly don't sit around all day, and search for this information.  Nor do I attempt to make myself miserable by inundating my day with nothing but sad stories of the horrors that occur.

It's actually quite the opposite.

I look for videos of animals being rescued and saved.

I look for stories where unlikely pairs (perhaps, a kitten and a bird) end up being the best of friends.

I intentionally search out everything GOOD that I can find...because we are so surrounded by the NOT good, I feel like it has gotten completely out of control.

~

I grew up on a farm...so there were realities that I was definitely aware of.

I fell madly in love with every kitten that was born...and my heart was broken each time something happened to those cats.

And something ALWAYS happened to our cats. 

The dogs seemed to fare a bit better...but I lost several of my "best friends" through the years, as they got old, or got too close to the highway.

One day, the calf you had been bottle feeding was there...the next day, he wasn't.  It is a pretty rough reality for a sensitive girl like me.

However...I never saw any animal be mistreated.

Accidents happened...but all of our animals were loved, and treated with respect.

Silly me...I assumed that is how it was on every farm.

Of course, we just had a small farm, and we certainly weren't in it for the money.

And that is where the problem lies, right there.

MONEY.

It sickens me how the almighty dollar has become more important and more valuable than anything. 

It certainly is more important than the well-being of any living creature...because apparently they were put on this earth for humans to make a quick buck off of.

It goes beyond the animals as well.  

These mega farms are not only creating horrendous living environments for the animals, but they are also polluting and destroying the land around them.

I was reading about a pig farm that emptied the pig's waste into huge pools outside the giant barns the pigs were housed in.  Then, when the pools were full, they would spray this waste onto the fields, land and HOMES beyond these "farms".

The people living in the near-by homes, of course, were low-income, and this was the only place they could afford to live.  They had to keep their windows and doors shut because of the overwhelming stench...and, because they would get pig urine and feces sprayed INTO THEIR HOMES if they left them open.

And these big ag farmers can get away with this...and think it's OKAY to do this!!!

There is a high rate of lung related illness and disease in this area, and cancer.

Shocking. 

~

ALL IN THE NAME OF MONEY.

~

 What ever happened to farm animals frolicking happily on the grassy hillside?

Instead, they are condemned to a life inside a cage where they can't even turn around, much less breathe any fresh air or see the sun shine.

I would venture a guess that a high percentage of these animals (especially the pigs) have IQ's significantly higher than the people who are "taking care" of them....and in SO many cases, abusing them. 

It is disgusting.  It is wrong.  I lose sleep over it.

I wish I was really smart, because more than anything....I wish I could do something to CHANGE THIS!

Why aren't people harshly punished for abusing animals?

As far as I'm concerned...any monster who has the capacity to inflict harm upon an animal has the capacity to inflict harm upon another human.

In fact, I would go so far as to say, they are even WORSE for harming an animal..because they can not defend themselves.

Animal abuse should have the same punishment as child abuse.

In my eyes...it's equally as vicious.

And what should that punishment be?

An eye for an eye.

No second chances.

Anyone who is that evil doesn't deserve to see the light of day again.

~

Yes....I am standing SO high up on my soap box today.

I spent a lot of time thinking about all of this over the past couple of days...and I think my frustration with the state of our world right now is why I choose to just keep myself wrapped in the safety of my house.

No one is getting hurt here.  The animals are spoiled rotten and loved beyond measure here.  The kids are respectful, and are fun to be around...and they know they have two parents who would die for them.

Money is not important here.

We make sure we have enough to pay the bills...and we hope that we can get our kids through college, and MAYBE someday we will be able to retire...but money will NEVER be our driving force.  We view it as a necessity...like food, I guess....but not as a motivator.  Sure, it would be great to never have to worry about finances...but I would rather live a simpler, less frivolous life, rather than miss out on life because I was too busy trying to get rich.  Or compromising my values, because I didn't think I could be happy until I had a bundle in the bank.

~

When I look around me...I see so many people who are so GOOD.  So many friends and families that give me so much hope for the future.

It's the big picture that is scary.  

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to just stay in my little bubble of ignorance....better to not be aware of all of the horrible things that are taking place every single day.

However, if I did that....how could I ever change anything?  Even if I can't make a huge impact...maybe just bringing awareness to enough people can start a ripple that will eventually turn into a wave.

Someone has to be the voice for those who can't speak for themselves, right?

So, even though it rips my heart into a million pieces every time I read about it or force myself to look at pictures....I am going to keep educating myself, when it comes to the truth about what is really happening to these animals. They have done nothing to deserve their fate, and can only hope that there are people out there who will find a way to end their suffering.

I know that if the tables were turned, I would sure hope that someone out there was trying to help me.

~

I promise I will watch something funny and happy before I start to write tomorrow's blog!

Time to Dream

I'm baaaack!

This past week felt like a month.

I have no idea why, but it did.  

I am sure you are just dying to know what exciting things I did during my hiatus.

Well, like I said in my previous post, I decided to get in shape.

Phew....that was a lot of work.

I'm so glad that my torso finally stretched out too.

It's amazing what a treadmill can do.

;)

Actually....I figure that no matter how much I exercise or how well I eat, I will never own a set of abs like that.  I could weigh 90 pounds, and still have a tire.  Why?  Because my torso is 5 inches to short.

If you would chop of her ^torso between where her elbows are and just above her belly button...and glue the two pieces back together...that's about what I've got.

I can look okay standing up...but once I sit down, my chest and hips are instantly attached.

One would think that with all of the advances in plastic surgery, that they would have figured out how to make a "torso extender" by now...wouldn't you?

I realize the spine is a tricky thing....but I'm sure mine would be happy to be stretched and straightened!

~

I believe that I mentioned that fact that our heat source was in peril before my hiatus.  Well....we enjoyed an entire week of a perfectly brisk house before the repair could be made.  (Maybe that's why it felt like a month?)

Fortunately, we tried a different company this time, and rather than just charging us a ton to patch the problem, they actually replaced the entire system that had been failing year after year.

I'm not looking forward to that bill...but it will definitely pay for itself, considering what we have been shelling out for the past 4 years to get the stupid things repeatedly worked on.

~

During my week of chilly self-pity (let's face it....I was in the dumps, and that's why I needed a week off.) I was sitting on my couch waiting for the arrival of the heat-fixer-guy.

There was a knock at the door....but to my surprise, it was a woman.

This threw me for a moment, because I didn't expect the heating guy to be an attractive, perfectly put together gal.

(I have a wreath on the door....and it happens to STILL be my Christmas wreath.  Along with all of my Christmas decor that is still gracing my front stoop.  I suppose I should deal with that at some point.) Anyway, the wreath was impeding my ability to clearly see who it was...but when I opened the door, I was very surprised to see a very sweet woman whom I'd only met a year ago, and most of our relationship has been via Facebook and this blog.

Immediately, something very interesting happened.

My chihuahua Riley, ALWAYS barks and goes slightly apeshit whenever someone comes to the door.  Especially someone he has never met before.

He typically goes through a ritual of "I am a ferocious guard dog, and I'm going to attack you...and then, after you pet me, we can be best friends."

However, this time...he quieted, and was docile.

(I ALWAYS pick him up, and "introduce" him that way....or he might try to taste your ankle as way to acquaint himself.)

There was no need to pick him up, because obviously....the dog whisperer had arrived.

The reason for this visit?  To bring me the sweetest care package EVER.

Inside the most beautiful bag (that she had made) were my now two most favorite things.

1. A giant rice pack....that covers my entire lap or shoulders (or lower back, or crampy tummy)....or whatever needs some heating or cooling.

And this book:

First of all....how can you not fall in love with a pig named Christopher Hogwood?

It was the perfect remedy for a girl suffering the winter blues, with a mind altering case of PMS to top it off.

As I finished the last chapter (last night in bed) I literally sobbed....you know, that "I am crying so hard I can't breath, and maybe will never be able to breath freely through my nose again" kind of sobbing...for a good 20 minutes.

Because, as all good animal books go....the star of the show eventually does get old and goes to hog heaven.

If you want to read a wonderful story....the author is quite amazing herself, as she has traveled the world, researching wild animals and their habitats her entire adult life. (She and her husband are both writers) And, if you want to fall madly in love with a 700lb. pig who loves his belly scratched, opens his mouth when visitors stop by and offer him treats, and is picky, as he makes sure to choose the strawberries and other favorites from his "slop" first, and refuses to eat onions and citrus peels, you need to read this book.

~

It was interesting to me, because the author talked a lot about the fact that she always related to animals better than she did to humans.  She never had kids, because she never felt that maternal urge, nor did she know what to do with them.  Her animals were her babies.  (Ironically, Christopher, her pig, is what brought children, and many now close friends into her life.)

I bring this up, because for quite awhile now, I feel most content when I am home with my dogs. 

 I have no desire to go out and be around a lot of people.

It is such a change in me, because I used to thrive on the chaos and excitement of a crowd.  Now, I avoid it at all cost.

I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing.

I am glad that I can feel so content being alone, and being at home.

I used to have a really hard time with that.  I would get really anxious, and feel like I always had to be doing something, or needed to have someone else around.  I would go crazy if Mark was gone too much.

Now, I love being alone.  I love the quiet.

Part of me worries, however, that I have shut myself off from everything.

That I am missing out on life because I have closed down myself socially.

I also worry that I'm not "doing anything with my life."

I have "jobs" but I don't really feel like I have a purpose I guess?

I used to be a lot more excited, more driven, and had lots of ideas when it came to things I wanted to do.

Now....I have no idea.

I feel kind of stuck.

Spring can't come soon enough.

It's time to re-boot....to create some new habits, and to start conjuring up some new dreams.

That is something I haven't done in a long time.

Dream.

Soul Re-Boot

The past few days have been a mix of super busy and super emotional.

I am sure the super busy...which leads to "super tired...super hungry...super headache" could definitely be part of the reason for the "super emotional."

~

On Friday, I decided we were going to go see a movie.  I didn't want something  violent (sorry American Sniper) or depressing (sorry I'm Still Alice) so I watched the trailer for McFarland, USA.  And I started bawling.  (Happy tears.)

That was an excellent choice.  SOOOO good, so uplifting, but it really did a number on my already emotional state.

~

Saturday was a full day of solo/ensemble, followed up by the "Beth and Jaine show" at church.  Good Lord, we can not get through a Mass without something ridiculous happening.  This weekend, it was me...unable to play the intro to the psalm in the correct key.

Then, during our lovely communion meditation, Jaine got a little turned around in her music during the 4th verse. (In her defense, this song was really screwy....and the verses were not lined up logically at all.) So, she sang the entire verse, trying to read my lips in an attempt to sing the correct words, while flipping through her music frantically.)  It was hilarious.

Considering we had just learned the piece 40 minutes earlier, and had only ever sung through it twice, it went pretty well....even with the lip reading. ;)

~

However, I was ready to keel over from an excruciating headache during the entire Mass....and it didn't let up until about 4 hours later.

This did not help with my over tired, over hungry emotional state.

Lexie grabbed up some Chinese take-out...and that DID help.

~

Sunday proved to be an all out crappy day from the start.

It was just an emotionally driven day of misinterpreted "tone of voice" and negative body language between Mark and I.

You know, one of those days where you are feeling tired, a little sad and unappreciated, and he reads it as "She is mad at me for NO reason!" and in turn, gives you the cold shoulder?  Yeah...one of those fun days.

Anyway.  

Earlier this month, I was thinking to myself "wouldn't it be nice to just have a week of NOTHING?"

Well, I have come to the conclusion that it is no longer nice, but necessary.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to have an actual week of nothing, but I have decided to take this last week of February, and pare down my responsibilities and activities as much as possible.

I need to do a little soul searching, a little catching up around the house, a little emotional "tune-up" for myself.  I have been running on fumes lately, and just need to re-fill.

So...I will be taking this week off from writing.

Even though this is an activity I really enjoy...it is also pretty time consuming.

I am going to use the time I typically dedicate to the blog and do something totally selfish, yet good for me.  Maybe hit the treadmill (that is getting VERY dusty.)  Maybe some time at the piano (if I can stand how out of tune it is right now!) Maybe I will finally figure out what I'm giving up/taking on for Lent?!!

Hey...since you won't have this to read for the next few days...maybe you could

find something productive to do as well?!

Of course, it probably only takes you about 3 minutes to read this thing....so I guess you could make some toast?

~

This will be a good experiment.  I always have had this crazy fear that if I didn't write for a day or two...I would lose all my readers, and the blog would die.

Well...I guess we will find out!

See you in March!!

Another Day in Paradise

Here is the run-down.

Yesterday, we got up at 10am.

Nice...but not a good way to get much done.

Mark made me french toast.

That was good.

~

As I was lounging in the tub, he came in with an "I'm not happy" look on his face.

One of our valves for the in-floor heating system had burst (this would be one of  our annual occurrences since purchasing this home.  It involves the heating guy coming over and replacing a plastic thingy...and it never costs less than $300.)

:(

~

Fabulous.

~

We spent the next 2 hours recording practice CD's for my church choir.

About half way through the process, Mark realized he hadn't hooked up the microphones to his computer....so we got to record all of those songs again.

FUN!

~

Then the kids came home.  And started getting on each other's nerves.  Which always involves loud noises and screaming. 

I hate that.

So, we left, and went to a movie.

McFarland, USA.

GO SEE IT.

Bring kleenex.

~

As we left the theater, my daughter sent this picture....

and this message:

I took a bath....and then came downstairs and my toilet looked like this:

Seriously?  How does this happen?

Needless to say...we rushed home.

~

So much for a dinner out.

I had Mark go grab us some take-out....so at least I didn't have to cook.

And then, we started getting all of our stuff ready for today...because 

guess what I get to do ALL DAY?

Play for solo/ensemble.

~

I have a love/hate relationship with this day.

Mostly the latter.

I know it's good for the kids.  And I do enjoy working with kids who really care about music, and work hard on their pieces.

It makes me feel so good when they are successful...and I have been known to get weepy when they are given exemplary awards for their performance.

But, it is also a long, exhausting day.

And it makes my brain hurt.

~

And I have to get up WAY too early in the morning.

So.....I just might give myself a day off from blogging tomorrow.

Maybe.

~

But for now, I am going to go deal with my barking dog, and my daughter who is pounding in frustration on the piano.

~

I need a beer.

Party Animal

Today is the first day of my 43rd year.

I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

I'm happy that I'm still on the low side of the 40's....but the number certainly keeps creeping up...and each year is passing by faster and faster.

Turning 39 was definitely the most difficult thus far.  I don't think I will have any other "age meltdowns" as I pass through the years.

I have pretty much accepted the fact that middle age has arrived, and I will now just live vicariously through my young and beautiful children.

I'm not sure if they are on board with that...but no matter.

They don't get a vote on this subject.

~

I usually view my birthday a lot like I do New Years Day.

I like to set some goals, make some plans....you know, plot how I'm going to make "this year the best yet!!"

Well, I haven't really put any thought into this year's plan yet, other than the fact that I would really like to be NOT fat by summer.

So, I guess that's my goal.

I will start that tomorrow.

;)

~

I should probably start buttering my husband up for a new baby too.

It will most likely take a couple of years to talk him into it...so it's good to start well in advance.

I have gathered some photos of what I would really hope our next baby will look like.  Again...it's good to plan ahead.

I will share some with you.

In a perfect world, I would wake up to one of these sweet faces....but, I can guarantee that the likelihood of that is an absolute 0%.

I should also probably start saving up for one of these little guys, since it's going to cost a fortune to find/get a French Bulldog in this area.

A girl can dream. :)

~

What I am most looking forward to today is my birthday slide show.

A few years ago, Sam started making me slideshows instead of cards for birthdays/mother's day, etc.

(He said making cards takes waaaay too long.  Can you feel the love?)

Anyway, his slideshows are typically quite hilarious.  He is pretty computer savvy, and he finds great graphics to go along with whatever witty jargon he comes up with.  He may be lazy (i.e.: the card making) but he sure is creative.

~

Another highlight is the fact that my husband actually has the day off....so I get to dictate an entire day's activities...and he is usually quite accommodating. If we are out shopping or whatever, and I ask if I can buy something/do something, his typical response is "It's your day! Of course!"

It is best for a girl to take advantage of these opportunities when they come along.  It's not as though he ever forbids me to buy/do something...but he has been known to throw a little "buyer's guilt" my way.  I am sure he is not the only husband out there who has ruined a good shopping excursion with his utter lack of enthusiasm!

And so, I am going to enjoy an entire day of zero responsibility, and pretend that everything I eat contains zero calories.

And while I'm at it...if I happen across a pretty little trinket that I just can't live without, I may just pretend it cost me zero dollars.

Because, heck, don't we all deserve one day out of the year to have a little fun?!

Accountability

Last night, I sat down to write today's post....and my internet refused to connect.

So, while I waited, I grabbed my phone, thinking I would peruse Pinterest...(since I had no idea what I was going to write about)

and I had the same result.

NOTHING.

I sat for several minutes, and finally decided that it was a sign.

The universe was just telling me to go to bed.

It was late, and it was ok to not write tonight.

~

I do have to admit, writing this blog is probably the most consistent thing I have ever done.

I really can't think of anything else in my life that actually involves taking a pretty good chunk out of my day, includes some work and thought, and is something that I have to plan for, and find time to do....and I still do it.

And I have done it for 167 consecutive days.

WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK WITH EXERCISE FOR ME?!!!

~

I am sure it has something to do with the fact that I actually ENJOY writing.

And I get to sit down while I do it.

Maybe I should make my husband build a desk around the treadmill for the computer.

I saw one of those on pinterest. 

That is probably the best way for me to get my butt off the chair.

It's worth a shot.

~

I also think the biggest reason that I haven't gotten lazy with this blog yet has nothing to do with me....but rather with those that keep me accountable.

(I wish that worked for exercise too!  For some reason...it doesn't.)

Just ask Colleen.  And my now extinct gym membership.  And Y membership.)

:)

Thank you to everyone who reads my babble.

You really do lift me higher, and keep me writing.

xox