Finding My Bliss: A Day in the Life

The other day, I was looking around my house thinking "What am I REALLY good at?"

The answer was evident.

There were THREE things I am really, REALLY good at.

1. Wasting time,

2. Making a mess.

3. Spending money.

Let's start with wasting time.

I think I could probably win the award for "Most unproductive use of time." I start out with good intentions. Every single day. I always have a plan of some sort in my head. I may even write it down, since things in my head tend not to stay for very long.

However, something always comes along to derail my plan.

For instance, I have a problem with bringing my phone along during my daily soak in the tub. Not only does bathing take more time than showering, but it also allows one to get lost in all of the quizzes, videos and posts that Facebook has to offer. We all know how time sucking those things are. And, if I am really trying to get out of doing something, I will open up the Pinterest app. I can guarantee the bath water will be cold by the time I climb out. I tell myself "just ONE more".....about 165 times...until I finally say (aloud) "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"

Once I am finally out of the tub and somewhat presentable, I have typically wasted at least an hour to 90 minutes. I may have been motivated to get my "to-do" list done prior to this lengthy bathing session, but once it's over, I am way to relaxed and tired to even remember what I was going to do in the first place.

So, I walk into the kitchen, and look around. It usually is not a pretty sight. So, I just sit down and read the paper. Or go to the computer. Or play the piano. Or something that will take up another good hour of my time.

By now, it is probably time for me to leave for whatever it is I have to do that day, so obviously, nothing has gotten done. However, there is no doubt that I have added to the mess that was already beginning to take over the house.

I have this mental disease that does not allow me to tackle the disaster in my house unless I have the entire day completely free of obligations. Unfortunately, this disease also has an override button that tempts me to lay in bed until noon and watch TV on those days.

When I finally do get myself up, and attempt create some sort of plan, as far as taking on the disaster I have created over the past several days (and let's not forget I have three helpers who are HUGE disaster creators also...) I am typically faced with a mess that completely overwhelms me.

I should mention that I don't do well when overwhelmed. At all. It literally makes me either cry, rage, brood, or simply freeze up.

I find it next to impossible to get started when my house looks like this:

or this

one more

(I should mention this pictures do not represent my house at its worst. Not even close.)

When things get this bad....I typically retreat to my bed, and just take a nap.

Of course, when I wake up, I hate myself for not doing something about the mess.

This brings us to talent number 3.

Spending money.

I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. For instance, I HATE grocery shopping. I put it off as long as humanly possible. And, as you can see from the kitchen photo above, I HATE putting the groceries away.

Clothes shopping is fun when I'm in the right mood, and when I'm not fat. So, this doesn't happen very often.

Shoe shopping I love. But, I do most of it online, because I hate going to the mall. It is very disappointing when the shoes arrive, and don't look right or fit well, because the hassle of exchanging them is a pain in the butt, but when they are perfect...YAY!

What I LOVE shopping for is pretty things for the house. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with my disgusting mess, I use this as my motivation to clean. Worst idea ever, of course.

Bringing MORE stuff into the house is never a good idea, when you are attempting to figure out where to put the stuff you already have. However, it does tend to get the adrenaline amped up, and my creative juices start flowing.

The bad part is how quickly money tends to disappear from my account when the shopping begins.

I should mention that there are only TWO pieces of furniture on the main floor of my house that were purchased new. (And one of them is my piano) The rest were either Craigslist finds, garage sale pieces I repurposed, or old pieces from flea markets or other shops.

I would guess that all of my furniture together (excluding my two new pieces) cost the equivalent of one high end living room ensemble. This includes two bedrooms full of furniture also.

So, I am a good shopper when it comes to cool stuff for the house.

Sadly, one of my favorite things to buy is bedding. Of course, I prefer new in this area. :)

I am obsessed with duvet covers, down comforters, cable knit throws, feather pillows, pretty sheets, throw pillows, fluffy blankets....etc. I also have a slight obsession with pretty shower curtains, towels, and every yummy smelling soap, bubble bath, shower gel, and any fancy schmancy bathroom product I can get my hands on. Needless to say, these things are pricey. Oh, and of course I need beautiful baskets and containers to store everything in.

Some days I long for a home that is completely minimalistic. I imagine what it must be like to just have a few select outfits (that you LOVE) to choose from each day, rather than a closet stuffed with clothes that you like....but never wear. (And yes, I have tried the "great purge". It just seems to fill back up.)

I also wonder what it is like to have simple decor. Just elegant, lovely items, no clutter, clear countertops, etc. How do people do that? Do they not have food in their homes? Where do they put their bread? Do they just have enough drawer space for all of the spatulas and wooden spoons, so they don't need to keep them on the counter? And what about the toaster and coffee maker? Where DO they hide these things??

It is a mystery to me.

In the end, I have come to realize that I love pretty things far too much.

I have often thought about whether or not this is an obsession of sorts. Or an unhealthy "relationship" between me and my "stuff."

But then I realized that no....it wasn't just about having stuff. For me, it was about making a home.

I have never cared about taking big vacations, or driving fancy, expensive cars. I have never wanted to be "rich".....or obsessed about having tons of money. All I have ever wanted was enough to be comfortable. Enough to not have to lose sleep over worrying about how to pay the bills each month.

These "things" I bring into my home are to simply help me create this cozy little haven for me and my family. That has always been my top priority. I want a place to come home to each night where, when I walk through the door, I feel like I am being embraced. I want my kids to love where they live, and I want anyone who comes to our home to feel like they can just snuggle into the couch and relax.

I have always loved being surrounded by a beautiful environment. It is what makes me happy. I don't think I would feel calm and peaceful in my house if it was bare and cold.

Nothing makes me happier than when I have candles lit, the fireplace on, the house CLEAN, and I am making dinner for my family. I feel like we are safe from all of the atrocities going on in the world....we are right were we are supposed to be, and I cherish that.

I just feel grateful for everything I have....and I think that is the difference between trying to buy happiness, and actually being happy.

So, yesterday, once I finally got myself good and motivated, (because my husband told me his parents were coming over....that night!) I decided to kick some butt on the house.