Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Another Day in the Life

It's been an interesting several days around here.
You may have noticed my blogging "come-back" lasted what....a whole three days?
My son got hit with the latest influenza strain....and it wasn't pretty.  The poor kid was in bed for 5 days with a fever, no appetite, sore throat, headache, cough, you name it.
I should mention this boy has zero body fat to begin with....so he looks even more skeletal now.
We are attempting to fatten him up now that he is getting his appetite back.
Funny how I never seem to find myself in a situation where I lose MY appetite.
I wouldn't mind moving a bit toward the "skeletal" side of things...rather than my current status.
Rather, I typically just end up getting stressed over the fact that my skinny son isn't eating, so I nervously munch on a bag of chips while I fret over his health.
Yes.  This works out just wonderfully for me.
Anyway...I am looking at my calendar, wondering how on earth we are already in the second week of March...and questioning how all of the things that are happening over the next two weeks are going to happen....without the loss of my sanity.
Do you often notice that everything always happens at once.
The craziness never spreads itself conveniently out...leaving you recovery time, or preparation time for the next event.
Oh no.  It just piles crazy on top of even more crazy.
I suppose, in some respects, this is a good thing.
Once you lose your mind, you might as well just go with it.
If you had time to ponder the fact that you were, indeed, absolutely, completely overwhelmed and on the brink of a complete and total melt-down...you might actually be pushed over the edge.
However, if you just keep plowing through the insanity...you don't have time to realize that your life is temporarily ridiculous, and no human would ever actually choose to put themselves through this torture.
Perhaps I am exaggerating slightly.
My life was crazier than this when I was teaching full time.
We can thank those 15 years for making me the unbalanced, somewhat disturbed person I am today. ;)
In other news.
My dogs.
I have been noticing some changes in them over the past couple of weeks.
Cooper (the shi tzu) has become quite bossy.  
He is very demanding when it comes to when he wants to eat, and when he wants to go outside.  
However, he ONLY wants to do those things right after you have settled comfortably in to whatever it is you are doing.
For instance, if I sit at the computer, and start typing....he will bark.  One sharp bark...either at the door, or the food bowl.
Or, if I start a piano or voice lesson.  A bark.
If I get all comfy on the couch, and start a movie....a bark.
His favorite new trick (because he thinks we are stupid humans) is to bark at the door, step out side, sit for 30 seconds, and come back in.  Then, he looks at the treat jar, and barks for a treat.
Because, obviously, you get a treat for going outside, right?
Sometimes, in the winter, he will eat a little snow while he is out there.

This face is rather hard to say no to.

Then there is Riley (the chihuahua)
He always does what he is told.  And, when he goes outside, he does what he is supposed to.
When he gets his treat, he jumps up to grab it...and RUNS.
He knows his brother is part pig...(he snorts, is very pink under his fur, and never stops eating)and will steal it...so he has to get as far away as possible.
The other day, Riley must not have been feeling well...or just wasn't hungry.
He didn't want his treat...but he certainly didn't want Cooper to have it either.
So, he carried it with him wherever he went.
He eventually hid it in my bathroom.
Cooper, of course, found it.
Just like he found the girl scout cookies we caught him eating under the bed two nights ago.
We heard strange noises....and sure enough, Cooper was finishing off what was left of the thin mints.
He smelled minty fresh...and puked three times the next day.
Last night, they managed to get the cabinet door open, and decided to have some tortilla chips before bed.
This is getting ridiculous.
By the way, we DO feed them.
I am starting to wonder if they have been chatting about joining an online doggie dating site....because it would seem that they have been practicing their "do I look sexy?" poses.
Let me show you what I mean.
(I have been capturing these interesting moments.)

Ah yes, the sexy "lounging with my stuffed eagle" pose.

And the "looking off into the distance" pose.

I love the "pretending my pic isn't being taken...but check out my handsome front leg" pose.

And the..."I look smashing on my fluffy pillow" pose.

Ah yes.  The "handsome man on a fur" pose.

This one..."I am a stud...but in touch with my feminine side."

"Look at me, ladies. I'm sexy, and can get comfortable...anywhere."

I'm not quite sure what this was supposed to be.  Submissive pose?

Here we have the subtle attempt at the "eye over the shoulder" look.  

Here is where it starts getting out of hand.
Obviously, Riley is embarrassed by his brother's brazen behavior.

And here we have crossed into "50 Shades of Grey" territory.

So, there you have it.
Obviously, my dogs have been watching the movie channels while we are not at home...or possibly, they have figured out how to use the computer.
Riley does have tiny little feet, so he probably could manipulate the keyboard.
At any rate, I am happy to say that, so far, the dogs are more corrupt than the children in this house.

(I just found this little gem on my phone.)

So far.
(I am knocking on wood.....and praying.)
And now, considering the fact that my in-laws will be arriving in 10 days...I have to start cleaning.
Because it will take me about 20 days to deal with this place.

This may require chocolate.


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