Monday, April 20, 2015

Spare Tires

You know how we all have that one thing that we inherited (and I'm not talking about aunt Myrtle's ugly pot holders) that we just loathe?
And by "inherited" I mean, genetically.
For some, it's their great-uncle's bulbous nose.
Or perhaps your mother's cankles.
Some wish they were tall and lanky, other's wish they weren't.
My least favorite, horrendously unattractive, constant battle, is my waistline.
When I was in high school...I thought it was bad.
HA! Little did I know how I should have enjoyed those measly 101 pounds I carried around!!
Fast forward to college.
Nothing like dorm food, $3 Dominos pizza after midnight, and way too much beer.
I would often have fries and a bagel with cream cheese for a meal.
How did I not know how bad that was?
How did I not realize that I was getting fat??
It's amazing how sheltered and ignorant I was when it came to nutrition and health 25 years ago.
And really sad, because maybe I would have been a bit more pro-active.
Every calorie I consumed seemed to multiply the fat cells in my abdomen.
I can't remember the last time I have worn a form fitted top without something over the top of it to "hide" my spare tire.
I am the queen of layering.
I either layer, or wear something that is flowing and not clingy.
To make matters worse, it would seem that when I am actually in public, it is usually behind a piano...which means I'm sitting.
This means my stomach fat doubles.
When I stand up, I can at least create the illusion of leanness, because I am nicely stretched out.  
When I sit, my lack of a waist creates an accordion like result, in which all of my fat just squishes into a big huge roll.
It is most frightening.  And unavoidable.
Hence, the layering.
Quite frankly...whenever I spot a woman with a tiny waist and flat stomach, I find myself staring at her, somewhat obsessively.  I sit and think "what must it be like to wake up in the morning and know you can put on ANYTHING, and not have to worry about hiding your tummy?!" amazing must it feel to never have that roll of fat flopping over your jeans?  It just must be the most fantastic thing in the whole world.
(And yes...I really do sit and think about these things....a lot.)
I've tried diets and exercise that targets my abs, etc.  But, as these things go, I lose weight everywhere but there.
So, I finally have decided to try a new approach.
I read "Wheat Belly" a year or so ago, and it made a lot of sense to me....but the heck was I going to stop eating bread, much less give up grains all together??!
So that lasted about a week.
Well, I'm back on the horse again.  Only slowly this time.
I've just eliminated bread so far.
I still use tortillas occasionally, and have really backed off on pasta and rice.
I'm also being really careful about my sugar intake.
I think a lot of this stuff triggers my migraines as I'm looking at it as a big experiment, that will hopefully reduce other "big" things as well. ;)
So far, it's been pretty easy....except at night.
Why is everything so much harder at night?
It's like my will power shuts down, and my cravings turn way up.
I hate that.
I have been drinking blueberry tea in an attempt to keep myself busy and not snack.
I am also finding that if I just keep the fridge stocked with some basic ingredients, I can come up with variations of things I like that are easy and healthy.  It's amazing how you can change up a combination of:
spinach, tomatoes, black beans, garbanzo beans, peas, chicken, eggs, salsa, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, yogurt, peppers, cheddar cheese, tortillas.  And I also have apples, broccoli, cauliflower, other fruit and nuts for snacks.
Veggie Salad

Strawberry, Chicken and Spinach salad

Then, late at night, I usually torture myself.
For instance, I will look through my latest Cooking Light magazine (because that is a GREAT idea when you are hungry) or Pinterest (because there is nothing that looks delicious there that will cause you to start salivating.)
Might I suggest that looking at anything involving food while trying to not think about food is a BAD IDEA.
Sometimes I challenge myself.
For instance, while soaking in the tub, I will attempt to read a magazine while eating an apple.
I urge you to give that one a try.
Believe me, it sounds a lot easier than it actually is.
If you can finish that apple without dropping it, or the magazine in the get a prize.
I don't know if I will ever see the day when I will not feel self conscious about my over abundant middle.
I know that it is only going to get harder to lose with I better start the battle right now, since time is working against me already.
I think, more than anything, I just am tired of feeling tired.
I am tired of headaches, and my stomach always feeling upset.
It's amazing how a lifetime goes by in an instant, and I keep saying "Oh, I'll take better care of myself tomorrow."
That really is the bottom line here.
It is time to not just look, but to feel healthy.
I hope it involves finally getting rid of all this unwanted flab....but even if it just reduces it, that will make me happy.
It's so easy to sit around, and eat crappy food all day, because it tastes good, and for some reason, it's really fun. (WHY IS IT SO FUN???)
However, it really does make you feel crappy in the end...and what is the point of that?
In the short amount of time that I have been eliminating processed food and bread from my diet, my stomach issues have almost completely cleared up (and I have had weird stomach issues for at least 2 years) and my headaches have been much better (with the exception of this week...but that was completely hormone related.)  So, obviously, there was something in those foods that my body wasn't tolerating.  I am crossing my fingers that I will find just the right combination of food and exercise that will melt all of the unwanted weight off...and I will look like a 23 year old again.
I will let you know how that goes.

Until then....I will avoid bakeries like the plague, and only go to the grocery store after I've eaten, because we all know what a bad idea it is to go when you are hungry.
And, maybe I will ask my doctor if there is a temporary procedure that could be done to take away my sense of smell.  Because, quite frankly, more than anything, I think it's the aroma of fresh baked bread, and donuts, and cake and everything baked and delicious that drives me nuts.
Maybe I'll just shove cotton balls up my nose, and call it good enough.

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