Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Time to Dream
This past week felt like a month.
I have no idea why, but it did.
I am sure you are just dying to know what exciting things I did during my hiatus.
Well, like I said in my previous post, I decided to get in shape.
Phew....that was a lot of work.
I'm so glad that my torso finally stretched out too.
It's amazing what a treadmill can do.
Actually....I figure that no matter how much I exercise or how well I eat, I will never own a set of abs like that. I could weigh 90 pounds, and still have a tire. Why? Because my torso is 5 inches to short.
If you would chop of her ^torso between where her elbows are and just above her belly button...and glue the two pieces back together...that's about what I've got.
I can look okay standing up...but once I sit down, my chest and hips are instantly attached.
One would think that with all of the advances in plastic surgery, that they would have figured out how to make a "torso extender" by now...wouldn't you?
I realize the spine is a tricky thing....but I'm sure mine would be happy to be stretched and straightened!
I believe that I mentioned that fact that our heat source was in peril before my hiatus. Well....we enjoyed an entire week of a perfectly brisk house before the repair could be made. (Maybe that's why it felt like a month?)
Fortunately, we tried a different company this time, and rather than just charging us a ton to patch the problem, they actually replaced the entire system that had been failing year after year.
I'm not looking forward to that bill...but it will definitely pay for itself, considering what we have been shelling out for the past 4 years to get the stupid things repeatedly worked on.
During my week of chilly self-pity (let's face it....I was in the dumps, and that's why I needed a week off.) I was sitting on my couch waiting for the arrival of the heat-fixer-guy.
There was a knock at the door....but to my surprise, it was a woman.
This threw me for a moment, because I didn't expect the heating guy to be an attractive, perfectly put together gal.
(I have a wreath on the door....and it happens to STILL be my Christmas wreath. Along with all of my Christmas decor that is still gracing my front stoop. I suppose I should deal with that at some point.) Anyway, the wreath was impeding my ability to clearly see who it was...but when I opened the door, I was very surprised to see a very sweet woman whom I'd only met a year ago, and most of our relationship has been via Facebook and this blog.
Immediately, something very interesting happened.
My chihuahua Riley, ALWAYS barks and goes slightly apeshit whenever someone comes to the door. Especially someone he has never met before.
He typically goes through a ritual of "I am a ferocious guard dog, and I'm going to attack you...and then, after you pet me, we can be best friends."
However, this time...he quieted, and was docile.
(I ALWAYS pick him up, and "introduce" him that way....or he might try to taste your ankle as way to acquaint himself.)
There was no need to pick him up, because obviously....the dog whisperer had arrived.
The reason for this visit? To bring me the sweetest care package EVER.
Inside the most beautiful bag (that she had made) were my now two most favorite things.
1. A giant rice pack....that covers my entire lap or shoulders (or lower back, or crampy tummy)....or whatever needs some heating or cooling.
And this book:
First of all....how can you not fall in love with a pig named Christopher Hogwood?
It was the perfect remedy for a girl suffering the winter blues, with a mind altering case of PMS to top it off.
As I finished the last chapter (last night in bed) I literally sobbed....you know, that "I am crying so hard I can't breath, and maybe will never be able to breath freely through my nose again" kind of sobbing...for a good 20 minutes.
Because, as all good animal books go....the star of the show eventually does get old and goes to hog heaven.
If you want to read a wonderful story....the author is quite amazing herself, as she has traveled the world, researching wild animals and their habitats her entire adult life. (She and her husband are both writers) And, if you want to fall madly in love with a 700lb. pig who loves his belly scratched, opens his mouth when visitors stop by and offer him treats, and is picky, as he makes sure to choose the strawberries and other favorites from his "slop" first, and refuses to eat onions and citrus peels, you need to read this book.
It was interesting to me, because the author talked a lot about the fact that she always related to animals better than she did to humans. She never had kids, because she never felt that maternal urge, nor did she know what to do with them. Her animals were her babies. (Ironically, Christopher, her pig, is what brought children, and many now close friends into her life.)
I bring this up, because for quite awhile now, I feel most content when I am home with my dogs.
I have no desire to go out and be around a lot of people.
It is such a change in me, because I used to thrive on the chaos and excitement of a crowd. Now, I avoid it at all cost.
I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing.
I am glad that I can feel so content being alone, and being at home.
I used to have a really hard time with that. I would get really anxious, and feel like I always had to be doing something, or needed to have someone else around. I would go crazy if Mark was gone too much.
Now, I love being alone. I love the quiet.
Part of me worries, however, that I have shut myself off from everything.
That I am missing out on life because I have closed down myself socially.
I also worry that I'm not "doing anything with my life."
I have "jobs" but I don't really feel like I have a purpose I guess?
I used to be a lot more excited, more driven, and had lots of ideas when it came to things I wanted to do.
Now....I have no idea.
I feel kind of stuck.
Spring can't come soon enough.
It's time to re-boot....to create some new habits, and to start conjuring up some new dreams.
That is something I haven't done in a long time.