Saturday, November 8, 2014

Hunger Games

Does this color make you hungry?
Actually, I think it is the color orange that is supposed to make you hungry.
I vaguely remember hearing that while at a McDonalds many years ago.  Probably back when all the booths at McDonalds were orange.
It must have been in the 70's or 80's.
Anyway, I never go to McDonald's anymore.
My friend Sarah did the "put a hamburger on the shelf and let it sit there for a year to see what happens."  It's true.  It looks exactly the same.
For some reason that isn't what stopped me from eating fast food.
It was some article I read that said the "beef was rinsed in ammonia so it would be safe for human consumption." That got me.
I am pretty leery of ground beef anyway(what is really in there??) that put me over the edge.
 I was actually quite grateful.  Who needs that junk anyway?
Now...if I could only convince my kids of that.....
Yesterday, I forced myself to go grocery shopping.  I was at an early rehearsal, and had to drive by the grocery store anyway on my way I stopped.
I should mention that I have recently come to despise grocery shopping.  Actually, shopping whatsoever.
I think it really is more the "leaving the house, spending gobs of money, and then having to haul bags of heavy stuff into the house....and the worst....putting it all away.
It even sounds exhausting, doesn't it?
Yes, I have become that lazy.
Another interesting fact.
My scale and I are fighting.
First of all, I'm not sure that he has been telling me the truth.  (I always thought it was a "she"...but lately I have determined it is, indeed a "he."
Why? Well, for instance, he tells me I am a different weight depending upon where I set him.  (I assume that the lower weights are given in his "happy spots.)
The dog peed on him a week ago, and ever since, he has been increasing my weight gradually...just to get back at me for not letting the damn canine out in time.
Wait.  As I am typing this....I am realizing that this sounds like something a pissed off, vengeance seeking woman might do.
Okay.  The jury is out on this one.  I have no idea if my scale is a he or she.
All I know is that I am NOT happy with the number IT has been showing me.
I spent a ridiculous amount of time at the grocery store.
I probably should have just brought a cot along to leave in the produce department.
Since I loathe exercise, I am going to start with food to begin my weight loss journey.
Here is a sample of my cart's contents from the produce section:
leaf lettuce
sweet potatoes 
squash (2 varieties)
You get the picture.  The only unhealthy purchase was a couple boxes of mac and cheese for the kids, a pizza and some cake squares from the bakery that Sam loves.  (They were WAY on sale.)
The woman at the check out counter said "Wow, you really eat healthy!"  I almost laughed.  All I could think was "Right!  I am going to get all this stuff home, and stare at it....wishing it would just turn itself into something yummy."

It was pretty funny when Mark came home from work.  Usually after a big grocery trip, there are lots of snacks and easily accessible foods to eat.
He kept digging around and would find a squash, or some sweet potatoes....nothing you could just snack on.  
It then was very apparent that this "healthy eating" was going to be a lot of work.  I have attempted to change up our diet before....well, really change up MY diet before.  
I tried going gluten free.  That lasted less than a week.
I did a protein shake program for a month.  That wasn't fun.
I have attempted to get rid of all the junk food in the house...but the kids were not having that.  Not having Ramen or Mac and Cheese or pizza was just about enough for Child Services to be called, and for us to be declared unfit parents.
Well, this time I am going to give it another whirl.
The hardest part for me is the planning.
I am a "wait until I am starving, and then find something to eat" kind of person.
That works with processed can throw a lean cuisine in the microwave and have lunch in 3 minutes.  However, I have to wonder how all of those chemicals and God knows what else in processed food relate to my migraines and stomach issues.

I am 100% sure I have a big-time sugar addiction also.
I crave sweet foods all the time.  Even if I am completely stuffed, I still feel the need to seek out something sweet after dinner.  I don't know how much is psychological... as we would often have dessert after dinner when I was a kid.  But the sugar has to go.

I do believe my greatest hurdle will be the fact that I am L.A.Z.Y.
I am actually sitting here right now, wishing I had something that would just magically appear to eat for lunch.  I have no desire to make anything.  I certainly am not craving vegetables!  I am trying NOT to go over to the table and grab this:

And I only have myself to blame.
I woke up with a terrible headache.  I was laying in bed, feeling miserable and sorry for myself, and Lexie walked in.  I suggested that perhaps she should run to the store and get something from the bakery for us...because surely that would make me feel better.
See? Self sabotage.
I reward myself with food....or pity myself with food....or congratulate myself with food......or comfort myself with food.....
It's a vicious cycle.  Food makes us feel GOOD!  Until it doesn't.
I wish there was an "off" button for the part of our brain that makes us think we are hungry when we aren't. 
I will get to work on that. ;)
Until then:

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