Saturday, November 29, 2014

Tomorrow, A Plan. Today, A Cookie.

All right, I have to many of you are already done with your Christmas shopping?
One more question:  How many of you have your Christmas decorations up?

I lied.  One more.
Do you have your tree already?
I will admit, I thought about shopping on Black Friday.
And by shopping, I mean sitting at my computer, checking out the 5 gazillion e-mails advertising sales from every store known to man.

I haven't watched the news, or talked to anyone who went shopping, but I am guessing that the "thrill of the chase" that used to be "Black Friday" is gone.  Am I right?  Now that is keeps creeping backwards...earlier and earlier...moving into Thanksgiving evening...and I'm sure it will soon be the whole day, it seems to me that it has taken the fun out of having Black Friday all together.
What's the point when it just becomes another day?  Another sale?  
Making a buck has become WAY too important.  It seems to me that it's all that matters anymore.  Big business could care less about their employees.  It's all about the bottom line.  Too much money just makes people crazy.  That is why I have never had any desire to strive to be rich.  No thank you. I will be blissfully borderline broke. 
(Okay..I could handle slightly well off.)

Anyway....back to my "almost day of shopping."
 I sent Mark out to buy tires for his car.  
(Which may be counter-productive, considering the rate at which our daughter is smashing that vehicle up.  Pretty soon it will be a crumpled, mangled hunk of metal, sitting atop 4 lovely new tires.)
Anyway, once that was done, I realized that we should probably wait until the next paycheck (or power ball win) to do any shopping.
And of course...any shopping that happens will take place from the comfort of my own home. :)

I guess I should mention that I have done a little bit of shopping (online, of course) over the past few weeks....but all of it has been for me, so I'm not sure that really counts. 

Rather than attempt to be productive in any way this weekend, I opted to run a series of tests. (I did play for a I had an hour of productivity.  That is plenty.)

The "scientific" part of my brain doesn't typically get much of a work out, so I think it's good to exercise it every once in a while.

Here are some of my findings:

1. Men are incapable of doing two things at once. (This is not new news...but I felt the need to see if anything had changed.  It has not.)
This includes doing virtually anything and listening at the same time.
I am tempted to say that perhaps it may be true that, in general, unless you clap your hands, or snap, or flash your boobs, men are incapable of listening.  You must make sure you have their complete attention before speaking if you expect them to take in anything you are saying.
Comprehension of what is being said is not guaranteed.
2. Watching one movie will cause your butt to begin to fall asleep.  Watching two will result in a definite numb butt.  Watching three will result in a full blown butt coma, combined with hip pain and lower back agony.
I suggest some movement, and perhaps a few rounds on one of those handy dandy back rollers.  As for the butt issues, I suppose that may be another way to get your man's attention....ask for a butt rub?
3.  If you eat dried cherries and cheetos, after a late lunch of turkey leftovers, and then fall asleep on the very well may be attacked by vicious heartburn that will not only wake you up, but make you slightly miserable for a good 15 minutes or so, until you can remedy the problem.
You may want to find a better combination of foods. :-0
4.  If you always reward your dogs for going outside to do their "business," they may eventually get smart (it took my bozos 8 years) and try to pull a fast one on you.
My darlings like to go to the back door and bark, so we will let them out.  They then walk in a circle around the deck...pretend they are scoping out the "perfect spot", and then walk back to the door, having done nothing....yet waiting eagerly (with their cute puppy eyes, and wagged tails for a congratulatory "way to pee!" bone)  My husband always falls for this trick, because, of course, his attention span has expired by the time he shuts the door to let them out.  He never has a clue if they actually went or not.  It is imperative that I am around, so someone is watching them to make sure they aren't pulling the "bark and sniff" on us.
(Just an FYI, I do always ask my beloved "did they go?"  And...on the days when he is listening, he replies "Oh crap...I forgot to watch them.")
And this is my life.

Tomorrow I start planning.
I'm not quite sure what I'm planning....but I'm going to start.
It will be a good plan.  One of those "get my shit together" kind of plans.
But today, I still get to be lazy. And I might eat some cookies.
Feel free to join me.
We can be productive in December. :)
Happy Saturday!

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