Sunday, November 30, 2014

Don't Mess with the Queen

I had a major melt-down today...followed by an epiphany.
I'm not quite sure what led up to it.
It's not like I didn't get enough sleep.
I woke up at 8:00 to post today's blog and let the dogs out.
Then my furry friends and I crawled back into bed and slept until 10.
(Seriously, when you have a chihuahua that will snuggle in your arms like a baby, it is impossible to get out of bed.)
I think it began when I came out to the kitchen, to find everything exactly the same as it had been last night when I went to bed.
A disaster.
Now, I realize that I am expecting a miracle to happen, when I actually think there might be a day I walk out to find a clean kitchen.
However, I DO live with three people who are perfectly capable of completing this task.  Funny how rare it is that actually doing so doesn't seem to ever cross their minds.
I mixed up my Spark, and headed for the shower.
Aka: my think-tank.
I pondered what to do today.
The work week is quickly approaching, so I need to take advantage of the weekend while it is still here.
I decided that I might just spend the day downstairs watching movies, and ignoring the mess in the main living area.
For some strange reason, I decided to throw a load of laundry in.
On my way through the land-of-no-return, I noticed that both of my kids were perusing various sites, looking for gift ideas for Christmas.  
Gift ideas for what THEY wanted for Christmas.
I felt a slight boil begin inside me.
I went to the laundry room to find one of the dogs had peed on the floor.
On top of that, my darling husband had used the bathroom attached to take care of some business. Why he couldn't have taken his business to the bathroom at the back of the house, (aka: the BOYS bathroom) is beyond me!    I could have used a gas mask at this point in time.
I was now at a rolling boil.
As I carried a basket of laundry out of the gas chamber...I tripped over the pile of shoes, haphazardly left in the middle of the walkway.  I managed to catch myself...but considering the level of my boil, this was not helpful.
The kids were still staring into their computers/phones...and my husband was just standing over the disaster at the island, eating.
It was time to share some feelings.
"I certainly LOVE how our children can spend hours searching for all of the crap they want for Christmas...but they can't spend 5 minutes helping out around the house!!!"
(walk angrily to bedroom.)

(husband enters room)
"What would you like for us to do?  I am taking Sam to his friends house in a couple of minutes."  
I any woman would. "NOTHING."
(Boys exit the scene.  Daughter conveniently goes into hiding.)
I spend the next hour or two (time flies when you are pissed off.) cleaning.  The kitchen is now a sight to behold.  All of the pumpkin paraphernalia is packaged and stowed. Floors are swept, living room organized, and put back together.  Laundry continues to be washed and put away.
(Enter husband.)

An interesting thing is currently taking place.
Do you recall that pantry shelf that crashed down the day before Thanksgiving?
Well, Mark has suddenly decided that this would be an excellent time to fix it.
And he has enlisted Lexie to go through all of the food, as he brings it out, and check the expiration dates. (There seems to be a lot of stuff from 2011...yum!)
He even set up a long table for her to work at.

I can never decide if it's funny or sad that it takes me losing it, and having a melt-down for my family to actually get around to doing something.

Anyway, today's events led to an epiphany.
I have noticed, especially in the past few years, that around New Year's Day, I am a complete basket case.  I am ready to file for divorce, put my kids up for adoption, move out, or just jump off a bridge.
I literally have spent the past few New Year's Days sobbing uncontrollably, trying to figure out why I am feeling so miserable, so hopeless, so unhappy.
Today it finally occurred to me.
By New Year's Day, my husband and kids have officially been at home with me for around 10 days. (Christmas Vacation)
It took me 5 days to snap (referring to my little melt-down today....Thanksgiving Vacation)
If you double that "quality family time," it's no wonder that I lose my mind, and have a strong urge to lay down in the middle of the street. 
I mean really....when you combine that with the SAD I already am trying to cope's a mixture for disaster.
Don't get me wrong.  I love my family.
I just need a break from them every once in awhile.
And more honestly...I need a break from the tornado of a mess they leave in their wake.  
I have gotten used to the peaceful quiet of my days with just the dogs around.
I am pretty sure I would make a kick-ass crazy cat lady.  (or dog lady, or pig lady, or any cute little baby animal lady.)
I am thinking of getting my kids cleaning supplies for Christmas this year.
It may be a little subtle...but hopefully they will figure out what they are for, and with a couple of detailed tutorials, be ready and able to use them!
Lexie will also be getting the book "How to Drive a Car Without Crashing Into Things."  I will also be buying it in the audio version, so she can listen to it while driving.
Mark will receive the how-to manual: "Mind-Reading for Dummies" that specifically the art of reading your wife's mind.  While this may seem like a bad idea...I really feel it will be beneficial.  He will know when I am thinking "SERIOUSLY?!!!  You have been up for three hours, and you couldn't do the dishes?"  or "If you talk about band music or biking for one more minute, I will clock you over the head with my ice cream scoop."
Nice things like that! :)

In the end, I think we can all agree on one very important fact:

Happy Sunday!

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