Thursday, January 15, 2015

Holy Sheep

I think I am ready to find a way to make a living that involves having very little human interaction.
I would probably make a really good shepherd.
I like sheep.  I think they are hilarious when they bleat. (Is that what it's called when they "talk?" )
Whatever it is, it cracks me up, because they all have their own "voice" and they all are rather passionate about what they have to say.
I especially like baby doll sheep.  They are just adorable balls of fluff.

Of course, I would probably need to relocate to someplace like Scotland...where the landscape is perfect, the villages are quaint...and the men wear kilts. ;)

You have to admit....a quiet existence in a gorgeous setting, surrounded by cute, wooly entertainment does sound pretty enticing.

And seriously....if I could look at faces like this each day....I would have zero stress or frustration in my life.

And...if a certain Scottish warrior were to happen to show up, well, I guess I would just have to find a way to deal with that.

A girl can't be expected to shepherd all of her sheep by herself, you know.

I might have to add a piggy friend to my flock.

But seriously...sometimes it really is tempting.  The thought of just packing it all up, and living a life of solitude in a foreign country.
Or...even just a quieter existence here.
Yes, I had one of those days.
The kind of day where you just have to stop and wonder what the heck some people are thinking.
(Or are they thinking??)
The kind of day when you realize that your priorities and values are definitely on a different plane than some of the people you have to interact with on a pretty regular basis.
It can be rather disheartening.
It was also one of those days where I got to deal with children who weren't my own....and some were in less than chipper moods.
That's always fun!
Yes, I think I would be utterly blissful if I could determine whether or not my day was to involve human interaction (because some days, I really do crave it) or if it was to be a day of absolute solitude, or (my perfect day) one that included well planned interaction, but mostly time alone (animals allowed, of course.)
Just the perfect scenario where you never had to worry about being disappointed, nor whether or not you might disappoint.
Can you imagine a life where you could set your own schedule...every day?
I suppose that is called retirement.
I am pretty sure that is a luxury I will never know, because, let's face it....I work at a church. ;)
That's okay though.  Aren't church ladies supposed to be in their 80's?
I will fit the perfect stereotype.

I just hope that I am not blind and deaf, and can still remember how to play the piano at that point in life.
(It will be hard to make a living as a church musician otherwise!)
I will apologize for all those in the congregation...or anywhere within earshot, if I am 100, and no longer am able to keep a beat...but everyone feels sorry for me, and doesn't have the heart to tell me that I suck, and should probably retire.

Beth, age 94.  Shepherd/Church Organist

Or, if I do decide to become a shepherd, and once I'm in my 90's I get confused as to whether I'm supposed to be shepherding or playing the organ, because obviously, those two things would be easy to get mixed up.
I suppose I could just play my accordion.  I mean, it is portable, and would work both indoors and out.
I am pretty sure the sheep would love it.
Well, I'm still not sure what the future holds, but I feel better now, because I have some options.
And, quite frankly, I have come to a point in my life where I really have no desire to deal with things that make these wrinkles on my forehead more pronounced.  
See them? 
They appear because of some of the following thoughts that may be crossing my mind..... :
*why do I have to deal with stupid people?
*Unless someone gives me a prozac prescription....I have no more patience for whatever it is you are currently doing. 
*You were supposed to act excited about that.....
*Are those words actually coming out of your mouth?
*You should probably just stop. Now.
*I wouldn't do that in public. Ever.
*Let's pretend today never happened.
I really could go on forever, but I just looked at the time.
You see, I have this little deal I make with myself.
I try to promise myself one hour of down time/relax/chill time.
Now...I have to plan accordingly.
If I don't have anything scheduled for the next morning...time isn't really an issue.
However, when I do have to be up early, I need to plan ahead.
Yes, I'm one of those people.
This is why you will rarely, if ever, see me out on a Saturday night.
I have to be up by 6am on Sunday.
That means in bed by 10.
If I get any less than 8 hours of sleep....I look like ^^that^^
all day long.  (And much worse.)

(A more accurate example)

I'm excited to see what tomorrow brings.
Maybe I will ditch the shepherd idea, and become an astronaut instead.
Eh, that's pretty unlikely though.
I saw Gravity.  
And my mom forced me to wear moon boots as a kid.
Scarred me for life.

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