Saturday, November 22, 2014
Nip and Tuck
Okay....so you know that list I was going to make today.
Yeah...that didn't happen.
I didn't even get around to even thinking about making it happen.
I did win the "Mom of the week" award, however.
I actually managed to find khakis (in the right size?!!) for Sam to wear for the play he is in, as well as black socks (apparently when I brought his shoes to school two days ago, I had only managed to get one sock in the bag.) Well...now he has two PAIRS of black socks, plus some cozy "soccer pants" (his term) to wear afterward. (Rather than shorts....which he has been coming home in lately. Perfect for the 10 degree weather we have been having. Ugh.)
I even made a pan of brownies for their bake sale (that he told me about at 3:00 this afternoon.)
Oh yes...I am mother, hear me roar.
I was basking in my motherly glow, when my daughter sent me a text that said "You're gonna kill me....." followed by this:
Yes...Lexie strikes again. She has already damaged the rear bumpers on both of our cars...apparently she is now working on the front.
My motherly glow was quickly doused.
I went off to my rehearsal, and then decided to say "screw it" and be a complete bum for the rest of the evening. (Because tonight was so different from any other evening??)
At promptly 9:30pm (Friday night) Mark asks me "So...are you staying up?"
Translation: "I can't keep my eyes open any longer...and need to go to bed now. How about you?"
Good Lord. Could we be any more pathetic?
I decided I wasn't going to follow his "I am 43 and completely lame...and need to be in bed before 10pm every single night." So...I got a little wild, and watched an extra "Criminal Minds" re-run....because I'm exciting and spontaneous like that.
Now I am trying to keep my eyes open long enough to write this...so I don't have to drag my butt out of bed and do it in the morning! ;)
Since my stress-free holiday list never came to fruition, I decided I would quickly write about another list instead.
My Christmas List.
If you should happen to run into my husband in the next few weeks...these are the things you should encourage him to put under the tree this year. He can always use suggestions.....otherwise I can guarantee there will be several pair of socks and unsavory scented lotions purchased.
I think the following suggestions are all quite reasonable...and super practical.
To begin with, something simple.
This lovely sweater:
Seriously....I need to figure out where this came from...because I want it...in several colors. Isn't it super cute??!!
Then, this sweet baby. Her name shall be Lola.
Now....in "The Twelve Days of Christmas," the giver of gifts presents his true love with "five golden rings."
I am certainly not that greedy.
I only want three.
Oh....and they are diamond.
(If I have to narrow it down to just one...I pick ring #3)
This might be a bit harder to "give"....but I really want these eyebrows.
And I think her make-up is quite lovely also.
And this last one is the big one. The "Santa" gift, so to speak.
The one thing I would choose over everything else.
It would be my Christmas miracle.
All I really want for Christmas is......wait for it..........
A tummy tuck!! (doesn't that sound like a fun way to spend Christmas morning?!) Plastic surgery under the tree?
Now, I realize that sounds a bit ridiculous and vain....but, if you are 5 foot nothing, and have NO torso, and if you spend every waking hour obsessing over your mid-section....well, you will be able to relate to what I am talking about.
I could do sit ups and crunches all day long....and I would still look like Mrs. Potato Head when I sit down.
So, if anyone knows a good plastic surgeon who would like to swap some nip and tuck for piano lessons....let me know! :) (If only!!)
Tomorrow I will make an effort to be productive.
Until then, I will dream of diamonds and liposuction.
What more could a girl ask for?
World peace, I suppose. :)