Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Christmas, Cauliflower, and Car-ma

Strange things are happening.
I wrote my "Christmas Letter" today.
And now I am making copies of it.
I also ordered card/picture things too. 
(Well, I order them every year...I just haven't sent them out for the past 3-4 years.  Money well spent, eh?)
I figure there are probably a good 20 people out there who don't know every detail of my life....so I will catch them up.
And yes, the letter is epic.
As in...."There is no way this is all going to fit on one, neatly typed page...and yes, it is going to scare people when they open it up, because they will have to actually look through their calendars to block out a chunk of time to read the novelette they have just received."
I can't help it.  
There are only a couple of things that I can be VERY brief at.
*Shopping for fishing lures.
*Talking about trombones.
*Being anywhere in the vicinity of stinky things.
*Dealing with rude, snobby, mean, or generally yucky people.

You get the picture.
If it is something I enjoy...I tend to linger a bit.
Today I will share with you some things I know for sure.

1.  By December 15th, your leftovers from Thanksgiving are most definitely past their prime, and should be thrown away.
And yes, they will smell bad.  Very bad.

2.  Speaking of "smelling bad"....cauliflower is not a vegetable that you want to let rot in your refrigerator.
The raw OR the cooked kind.
I decided to experiment with both.

3.  When cleaning out the refrigerator....if you decide to throw all of the stinky, rotten food in the garbage can, it is best to not get distracted and move on to other chores.  The smell does NOT get better as the day goes on.

4.  If you impose a shopping hiatus on yourself for a good chunk of time, you may, indeed, be sucked in by the overwhelming amount of enticement oozing out of your inbox everyday.  Yes...it is hard to resist the lure of the "Great Christmas Deal."  Especially when there are shoes involved.
I may or may not have ordered three pairs of boots in the past week.
It's best not to talk about it.

5.  In addition to one's shoe addiction, there are other items that may have fallen into your online "shopping basket."  If this should occur, and then if your husband comes to you and says "What do you want for Christmas?" it is probably just best to say "Umm...I've got it covered, honey."
And run.

6.  My teenage daughter does not quite meet my level of excitement/awe/wonder when it comes to certain chord progressions, harmonies, and melody lines in the music I am forcing upon her.
When I start to throw myself off the piano bench as a reaction to a gorgeous harmony....she just looks at me.  I then ask her "ISN'T THAT FRICKING GLORIOUS!!!???"  To which she rolls her eyes and replies "It's ok."
This bothers me.

7.  I am pretty sure that I will never find a place to file all of this music....and there is an equally large pile on top of the piano.  I may have to work "big plastic table covered in crap" into my decor.

8.  I took care of shopping for my husband, son AND father-in-law today.
Pretty impressive, right?
Okay....well, Mark had already put everything in the "basket" at Amazon.com....but I hit the ORDER button...and the PAY FOR ALL THIS STUFF button.  So, it was pretty much all me.

9. One of those pairs of boots I bought are Fergalicious.  You know what that means, right?  That I am going to be Fergalicious when I wear them.
Oh YEAH baby.

10.  I'm not far from Fergalicious on a typical day....so it really won't be that much different than my normal, super stylish self.
I even look smashing when I write.  Well...I guess I have worn this all day long...so...I guess I look great when I do everything.

11.  My hair looks equally as fabulicious.  Every. Day.

12.  Mark and I went to Red Lobster last night (to celebrate our end of "crazy week" and because I felt the need to consume a ridiculous amount of greasy calories.)
I had to chuckle when they brought out my salad.
One might think that perhaps they have reduced the portions of the healthy stuff....slightly.

It almost filled the bowl.  And don't worry...it was equal parts dressing and iceberg lettuce. 

13.  THIS is exciting news.  My car is DONE!  It's only been THREE weeks since we brought it to the shop.  I guess the nice thing is that I got to use the loaner for my nightly commute to Winona...so I didn't have to put all those miles on my car.  Would you call that good Car-ma?
Oh good Lord.  I have turned into my husband.
The worst joke teller on the planet.
(But he thinks he is REALLY funny.)
Well, my Christmas letter writing took a lot out of me.
I should probably have some ice cream.

Have a terrific Tuesday!
I can't wait to find out what I know (for sure) tomorrow!!

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